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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another cit... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still b... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jule... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Marg... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us wh... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Luis Bunuel
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hu... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Dougla... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here fo... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Reality continues to ruin my life.
Bill Watterson
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow mor... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Abraham Lincoln
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more spe... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.
Thor Heyerdahl
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successf... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Dr. Seuss... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your li... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you brea... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains dro... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carli... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
William... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of cour... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have da... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
Clint Eastwood
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
Ar... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a siss... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
Charles M. Schulz
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I know you can be funny without being filthy.
Jonathan Winters
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you l... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he g... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
Dylan Moran
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making joke... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.
Molly Ivins
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling w... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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You see much more of your children once they leave home.
Lucille Ball
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funn... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form o... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sig... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
James A. Garfield... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
Logan Pearsall Smith... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burge... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted.
Se... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Johnny C... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and mov... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, ev... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feel... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really ne... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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We are all born mad. Some remain so.
Samuel Beckett
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 30... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends wit... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic peopl... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things tha... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I love fools' experiments. I am always making them.
Charles Darwin
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years l... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Alexander Woollcot... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.
Jerome K. Jerome
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
Calvin Coolidge
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buy... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Yogi Berra
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Jo... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Thomas Szasz
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.
Shantel VanSanten
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
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I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Douglas Adams
| https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
