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Attribute 16 | origin_pattern | origin_url | createdAt | updatedAt | pingedAt |
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another cit... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still b... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Jule... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Marg... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us wh... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hu... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Dougla... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. Oscar Levant... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here fo... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow mor... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more spe... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. Thor Heyerdahl | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successf... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Dr. Seuss... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your li... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you brea... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Marquis | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains dro... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carli... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. Jay London | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. William... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Jack Benny | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. Henny Youngman | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of cour... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Bette Davis | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have da... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? Ar... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a siss... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. Charles M. Schulz | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I know you can be funny without being filthy. Jonathan Winters | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you l... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he g... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. Dylan Moran | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making joke... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. Molly Ivins | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling w... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
You see much more of your children once they leave home. Lucille Ball | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funn... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form o... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sig... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. Logan Pearsall Smith... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burge... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted. Se... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Johnny C... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and mov... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Woody Allen | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, ev... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feel... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really ne... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
We are all born mad. Some remain so. Samuel Beckett | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 30... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends wit... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. David Lee Roth | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic peopl... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things tha... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. Charles Darwin | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; ... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years l... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcot... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise. Jerome K. Jerome | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. Robin Williams | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I have never been hurt by what I have not said. Calvin Coolidge | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buy... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Never floss with a stranger. Joan Rivers | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Jo... | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. Thomas Szasz | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky. Shantel VanSanten | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. Douglas Adams | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l | https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC | 2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC |
Sample code snippets to quickly import data set into your application
For more information on how to automatically trigger an import please reference our WebHook API guide
Integrating with Java
import java.io.BufferedReader; import java.io.InputStreamReader; import java.net.URL; import java.net.URLConnection; import java.util.Arrays; public class HelloWorld { public static void main(String[] args) { try { URL urlCSV = new URL( "https://cache.getdata.io/n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses/latest_all.csv" ); URLConnection urlConn = urlCSV.openConnection(); InputStreamReader inputCSV = new InputStreamReader( ((URLConnection) urlConn).getInputStream() ); BufferedReader br = new BufferedReader(inputCSV); String line; String[] fields; while ((line = br.readLine()) != null) { // Each row fields = line.split(","); System.out.println(Arrays.toString(fields)); } // clean up buffered reader br.close(); } catch (Exception e) { System.out.println(e.getMessage()); } } }
Integrating with NodeJs
const csv = require('csv-parser'); const https = require('https'); const fs = require('fs'); const file = fs.createWriteStream("temp_download.csv"); const request = https.get( "https://cache.getdata.io/n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses/latest_all.csv", function(response) { response.pipe(file); } ); file.on('finish', function() { file.close(); fs.createReadStream('temp_download.csv').pipe(csv()).on('data', (row) => { // Each row console.log(row); }).on('end', () => { console.log('CSV file successfully processed'); }); });
Integrating with PHP
$data = file_get_contents("https://cache.getdata.io/n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses/latest_all.csv"); $rows = explode("\n",$data); $s = array(); foreach($rows as $row) { # Each row var_dump( $row); }
Integrating with Python
import csv import urllib2 url = 'https://cache.getdata.io/n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses/latest_all.csv' response = urllib2.urlopen(url) cr = csv.reader(response) for row in cr: # Each row print row
Integrating with Ruby
require 'open-uri' require 'tempfile' require 'csv' temp_file = Tempfile.new( "getdata", :encoding => 'ascii-8bit') temp_file << open("https://cache.getdata.io/n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses/latest_all.csv").read temp_file.rewind CSV.foreach( open(uri), :headers => :first_row ).each do |row| # Each row puts row end
created on 2022-07-22
created on 2022-04-28
created on 2021-09-23