Community / balsimpson / Funny Quotes - BrainyQuote

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another cit...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still b...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Jule...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments....https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Marg...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us wh...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hu...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Dougla...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. Oscar Levant...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here fo...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow mor...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more spe...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. Thor Heyerdahl https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successf...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=l2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Dr. Seuss...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your li...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you brea...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Marquis https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains dro...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid....https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carli...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. Jay London https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. William...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Jack Benny https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. Henny Youngman https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of cour...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Bette Davis https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have da...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? Ar...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a siss...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. Charles M. Schulz https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny2.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I know you can be funny without being filthy. Jonathan Winters https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you l...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he g...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. Dylan Moran https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making joke...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. Molly Ivins https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny6.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling w...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere....https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
You see much more of your children once they leave home. Lucille Ball https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funn...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form o...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny9.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sig...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. Logan Pearsall Smith...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burge...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted. Se...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Johnny C...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and mov...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Woody Allen https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny8.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, ev...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feel...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really ne...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny11.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
We are all born mad. Some remain so. Samuel Beckett https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 30...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends wit...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny12.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. David Lee Roth https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic peopl...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things tha...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. Charles Darwin https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; ...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years l...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny10.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcot...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny13.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise. Jerome K. Jerome https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. Robin Williams https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I have never been hurt by what I have not said. Calvin Coolidge https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buy...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny3.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Never floss with a stranger. Joan Rivers https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Jo...https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny4.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. Thomas Szasz https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny5.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky. Shantel VanSanten https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. Douglas Adams https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html?vm=lhttps://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny7.html2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
Data source unique ID
n3960_7d1ed3f1a1a75027ac64d8305c4ab5dceses
Privacy
Public
Last ran status
COMPLETED
Last ran
2017-04-21 06:17:05 UTC
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Use default URL in recipe